"who you callin' a b*tch?!"

unity, queen latifah (1993)

i had to step back into time and shed light on this truth because nowadays i think that we get so caught up in the "hip-hop" scene that some of us *and that is a small percentage of us* forget that the degrading content in music from artists such as lil wayne, drake, snoop dogg, j.cole and many more isn't healthy for our community. sure the money, riches and poppin' bottles of that "ace of spades" sounds like these rappers are living the life, but do you really think that they feel good about talkin' all that talk?
 
i thought about this topic after listening to music made by a classmate of mine. i will not say who or what the name of the song is, but i will say that i was not too comfortable with him referring to women as b*tches and being "strictly about his paper." number one, i'm not knocking you for producing the art of music, but my friend: we live in the year 2010--it's time that we move away from calling women out of their name just for the sake of spitting a flow. it's so common now days to hear the word "b*tch" or "h*" in a rap song that we've become immune to the fact that these words are not only poison to the youth that are soaking it up like sponges, but also detrimental to ourselves. within the hip-hop community, women of color already deal with being hypersexualized and undervalued thanks to the many music videos and songs that specifically depict women as such, but hearing the words from those songs on a daily basis isn't quite appealing either.

dictionary.com defines the word "b*tch" in three-fold: 1. a female dog; 2. slang:  a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman. 3.   a complaint.

first of all, what's up with the, "especially a woman" part?  never have i ever been cool with anyone, male or female, calling me the b-word. i also think that the term is completely inadequate as a term of endearment and while i may slip up sometimes and refer to females that i do not know the term, i have to become more conscious about the negativity and the ugliness behind the word. that goes the same of the n-word too.

in order to make ourselves better, we've got to do better y'all. like tupac said in "changes",  

"let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live & let's change the way we treat each other...the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do what we gotta do, to survive."

there are so many more words in the english language that we can use in order to explain the way we are thinking our thoughts. it's time to start thinking OUTSIDE of this whole idea of "fitting in" and "going with the norm".  i will say, hip-hop has made strides since it began back in the Boogie Down Bronx years ago, but there is still a long way to go. the ultimate goal of hip-hop and the culture wasn't to tear one another down, but to uplift each other and provide unity, peace and prosperity.


so i say this again, "who you callin' a b*tch?!"

☮ and ♥, 

-*csc.

a case of "angry black woman" syndrome?

am i the only who sometimes feels a little guilty at times when i fall into the category of the "angry black woman"? you know, the one with a lot of attitude, rolling the neck and trying to always cuss someone out to prove her point sometimes? here's an example...

now while some (and i do mean very few) of those characteristics may come from me at times, it's not always so. yesterday, one of the people i'm on this trip with blatantly stated (right in front of my face too) that i was mean and seemed "scared" to come up and stand near me for a picture. in another instance, one girl on the trip told my roommate that she thinks that i don't like her. this could easily be because i've usually got quick comebacks and can be witty when i want to or i may be a little stand-offish at times, but other than that, i'm a little taken a back at why this would be.


am i looking into these two instances too much?

these two individuals could just be joking and usually back in syracuse, i throw the deuces and don't care, because that's their problem and not mine. no, i do not (nor do i ever) feel the need to "represent" for my race/culture on this trip nor am i trying to play some sort of victim. this could simply be a case of when i need to check my ego at the door, but i do feel as if though i should be educating these individuals, not only about generalizations of black females, but also about me as a person. sure i can sassy and maybe a little snappy at times, but i'm also sophisticated, sensitive, independent and rather friendly.

on the contrary though,  trips like this have taught me that people only take you for face value, and that's totally understandable. it's only six weeks and personally, i don't expect to share my whole life with these people. i've done my part to be nice on this trip, and that's that. i just don't like the whole notion of people jumping to conclusions about who i am with out really getting to know me because that sh*t right there is for the birds.

but putting everything in perspective, i guess it does give me yet another chance to learn about the type of person i am and somethings that i may need to work on because after all, this thing we call life isn't a destination but rather a journey :)

☮ and ♥, 

-*csc.

let's see the world & never look back...

so as i was sitting in my new fave cafe here in madrid journaling (faborit, it's a better version of starbucks in my opinion), i began to think about the different places that i would like to travel to. it's still very surreal to me that i'm in spain right now, but i know that this is only the beginning of my travels around the world. originally, i have given myself 12 years to achieve this, but i'm pretty sure that i can do it in ten years (that's when my passport expires!)

in no particular order, here are my top twelve...

1. sydney, australia - not only do i want to go to the opera house, but i also want to throw a boomerang, hold a koala and see a kangaroo too. =]

2. paris, france - the city of love and romance. i want my photo in front of the eifle tower and to people watch while snacking on crossaints.

3. london, england - this seems like a pretty simple one, and achievable like the rest but there's something about the english culture that i find very intriguing. i also want to have tea with the queen *a girl can dream right?*

4. capetown, south africa - this needs no explanation whatsoever. the motherland, period.

5. hong kong, china - just seeing pics from my friends who have studied there, it just looks like it's poppington. and being a business major, i want to embrace the professional culture there as well.

6. tokyo, japan - like hong kong, the busyness of this culture seems very captivating to me, and i want to experience their transportation system there as well (the bullet train? i think so...)

7. egypt, africa - another one that needs no explanation. the pyramids, the history...just seems too good not to be on the list.  

8. mexico - yes, i know it borders the U.S., but i don't just want to go to cabo, cozumel or puerta vallerta, but the historical sites in mexico city, guadalajara and monterrey.

9. central america (jamaica, el salvador, costa rica, panama) - i know it's a long shot squeezing all of these places into one, and forgive me if i'm wrong for that. i just think that they are all beautiful and have very rich culture. island hopping will be necessary.

10. south america (peru, argentina, chile, columbia) - another beautiful country full of culture. i love the spanish culture even more after being over here in spain and i want to learn about another perspective of it by going to these places.

11. rome and florence, italy - the fashion, the monuments, the gelato. what else more is there to say?

12. india - let me just first say that i love bhangra and bollywood #boom. secondly, vividness and boldness of indian culture interests me a lot. lastly, the tahj mahal.



i'm going to try to remain a college student as long as i can so that i can be able to go see a few of these places *LBVS* -- who's coming with?

what are some places that you would like to see?



-*csc.

harder, better, faster stronger...

today is the 21st day that i've been here in madrid and like i have been saying, it's been a great experience thus far, but all of a sudden, i feel like there is something more that i could be doing right now to maximize this experience...something that could leave a long lasting on me for the rest of the summer and even going into my final year of undergrad.

i love to daydream, that's a fact. and if you know me, you know that i'm always coming up with some crazy idea that originated from a daydream or a song or something else. i was listening to a big sean song yesterday *very intently might i add* and he stated a really dope line, "they say it's meant to be when you sleep to the same dream."


i honestly believe that the many re-occuring daydreams or thoughts that i continue to have about my future, whether it be an idea of a bomb @$$ dance routine or meeting the president of the united states, have some sort of reason behind them. will smith once said, "ideas are physical, if they stay in your MIND, you're robbing the world of experiencing them." and that couldn't have been put in a better way. 


so with that being said, it's time that you and i BOTH start to maximize on our potential as citizens of this world. i'm not saying that you have to stop everything you're doing and go run and try to save the world (i mean, if you don't have anything else to do...lol, just kidding) but simply by starting with you. change up your daily routine, start a hobby that you have been considering for the past few months or finally complete something on that long to-do list you have. whatever it may be, make sure that it's something that can gradually improve you as an individual and then hopefully, make the world a better place. in other words, get up off your @$$, and do something! don't let another day go by without doing something that makes you feel fulfilled. 

for the next 23 days, i plan on taking full advantage of this experience even more, and i'll be sure to update you all on my progress. i challenge you all for the next three weeks to do things that will make you better, faster and stronger. are you up for it? i sure hope so... =]

is confidence in the eye of the beholder?

so as i sit and ponder after a day of classes and exams, i came to the conclusion that being confident comes in several different ways, but it's a continuous process. i can sometimes have days when i feel like i'm on top of the world and could conquer anything, but then there are some days that i just feel like chillin' in the bed and not conversing with a soul. and while i know everyone has days like that because we are all human, my main question is: what makes a person confident?

you could say being able to "walk the walk and talk the talk" is confident, but actions speak louder than words, right?  maybe it's your fashion sense that makes you confident, or your ability to walk into a room and just be the center of attention. Maybe you don't even have to cause a scene when you step in the building, but you can silently just chill and your presence is felt. i'm sure when people think of confidence, names like beyoncé, pres. barack obama & his wife michelle and lil' wayne (wait for it...ok, i'm back) come to mind, but they weren't always this way. so when did it finally click for them that they could literally hold the world in the palm of their hand if they wanted to?

being abroad thus far has given me a chance to really observe not only how life is in another country, but what makes people gravitate to certain people with that charisma, that spark, that extra something.
it's also given me a chance to re-evaluate who i am and what impact i want to continue to have on those that i come in contact with.

below are two people who i look up to that exude crazy confidence. shout out to them. =]

-*csc. <3

my younger sisters, llyoandra (middle) & jessica (left)

come on and go with me...

after a very long weekend in andalucía (south of spain), i've returned with a new mindset on not only my surroundings, but on the person that i currently am at the moment. and while i would love to go into detail, i'm going to keep it brief because i've gotta study for midterms *grrr*

number one : the moment that you think you've got it under control & know who you are concretely, something always comes along to tell you otherwise.
as simple as this sounds, things can get a little complicated with this one. while i am secure in who i am on certain levels, there always tends to be times when certain layers are peeled away because they're just getting old. after a particular situation occurs (where i know that i am in the wrong) i see me taking steps backward instead of forward; mostly reminding me of times when i was in high school. -_-

number two: don't let people get under your skin - no matter how awkward or annoying they may be. 
this is a constantly reoccurring one that i see if i tend to be around people for longer than i would like to be. when this happens, i start to retreat to my comfort shell, get an attitude and have smart comebacks for everything and everyone. i'm not too sure where i get this from (maybe i will find the root of the problem during my psych studying) but i'm definitely working on it. i always have to remind myself that things aren't as bad as they seem and just to take time to relax & release. no big deal.

number three: your mind was specifically designed to create and harbor certain images; images that are both true and false. don't give in to the false and negative ones!
i'll admit - not having access to the blackberry overseas has been very interesting for me, but i'm learning to do without having constant connection with everything in my own little world. stuff like that can make you go crazy! with the lack of communication, the left side of my brain came up with crazy images that the right side of my brain tried to process, but ultimately failed because i came to my senses. i had to remind myself that i am currently on a journey that is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and i should be taking full advantage of it and not worrying about things that are out of my control. sh*t will happen, period point blank! but it is up to me to live my life right not to the fullest and not try to fix thangs that ain't broken. ;-)

maybe any of you can relate to this? i know it may sound incredibly weird, but that's how i roll sometimes. i just gotta get it out some way, some how.


it's always wise to put yourself in check, because it may be worse if someone else has to #imjustsayin. 

ok, enough with the self-evaluation for now. back to the world of academia. deuces!

-*csc. 

What's your definition of Love?

it's a question that i often have to take time out of my day and ponder about, but i think that there is more than one answer to it. before i even get into my answer,  have to shout-out my home girl amanda for posing the question and giving me that chance to flex my brain cells. ;-)

but when she asked me the question, i must say that i was caught off guard, but it made perfect sense considering the topics that we were discussing at the time. so after taking time to think about it, i gave her this definition:

"love can come three fold: love for family and friends, love for your Creator, and romantic love (this is basically agape, philos, and eros love). the love that i am most eager to experience is the latter because i have yet to know what that is like. that love that gives you butterflies everytime he texts you, calls you or lets you know that he's thinking about you. that love that reassures you that he's down for you no matter what, even when there are tough times. it's that love gives you the warm and fuzzy feeling everytime you close your eyes and imagine his presence..."

i gave support for my definition with my current favorite song, "there goes my baby" by usher because everytime i hear that song, it just makes me swoon and only imagine how it would feel to be the main topic of this song. but amanda made a good point: sometimes those butterflies are bees that sting, and you will have to, more often than not, continue to love that person through the stings. *still love that analogy, btw*

but what i've discovered from our conversation and even reflecting on the person that i am at this moment is that you have to consume a certain love for yourself before you can invite anyone else in to love you. by that i mean, fully accepting who you are, flaws and all--your good attributes, your not so good attributes and the things that make you, YOU. no one is perfect of course, but i feel at this point in my life where i am constantly evolving into this woman i see my self becoming, it's kind of inevitable. but i know with God's help, I that special person, who ever he may be, will walk into my life at the right time. in the mean time, i'm just going to continue to learn more about who i am, accept blessings that are coming my way and by loving me more, maybe even attract person without even trying.

love is more than just a figment of the imagination, it can and will be my reality.

-*csc.

Our Time Has Come...What are you going to do?

 I know it has been a LONG time coming since my last post, but it's all been in good reason...

I've been completely swamped for the last couple of weeks with rehearsals, school projects and work, but it has all taught me in the process. I had the pleasure of attending a lecture last Thursday night given my Jeff Johnson (aka "Cousin" Jeff) that was sponsored by the National Association of Black Journalists here at Syracuse University and his words were beyond inspiring and eye-opening. I really that many more people would have attended to hear the knowledge that he dropped that evening.

I've come to the conclusion that yes, I do tend to have a short attention for somethings, I'm not afraid to say it. ;-) but when it comes to wanting to change the world, there are sooo many things that I want to do in order to make that happen and I have no idea on earth where to start. So I want to pose the question, "what is your purpose?" While that is a broad question, and many of us have the slightest idea what it may be, just take a second to think about the possibility of knowing. Even if you don't believe in any higher power, you must know that there has to be some divine right in the universe that has created a specific path and destination for each of us.

Are you doing what it takes to live out/find your purpose, or are you simply waiting for something to come along and smack you across the head and tell you, "Hey! I'm your purpose in life, come follow me!"

If it were only that easy...but being in college these last three years, I've learned that sometimes things come much more difficult than others. We have to be willing to educate ourselves in order to make us better. Jeff talked about how his friend Paston Jamal Bryant (shout-out to the AMEC, whaddup! lol) had advised him to read one book a week, just create discipline and to expand his mind. I want to take on that challenge of reading a new book every other week (I've got to work to get like Cousin Jeff y'all).

But I want to challenge you all to do something that will make you better than you were yesterday. Life is full of endless possibilities, what are you going to do to take advantage of them?


For more information about Jeff Johnson, check out his website here Jeff's Nation and follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/jeffsnation

-*csc.

new sounds : "over" - drake

"what am I doing, what am I doing? oh yeah thats right, I’m doing me..."


so drizzy is prepping us for what we can expect from his debut album on young money and from the sounds of it, he doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon.

"over " is the first single off of "thank me later" and it gives me real mellow vibe, but the beat is bananas! the violins in the background...yowza, i'm so taking this to the dance studio and creating some type of craziness.

take a listen *if you already haven't* below...you won't be disappointed.




have a great weekend!
-*csc.

post #100 : dear st. valentine

dear st. valentine,


in the past, i've always thought of your day as one that "suckas" usually celebrate. i've never really had a "valentine", and while this would be a time to be super emo and "depressed", i've learn that valentine's day is a time to really appreciate the ones that you love and those that love you.

i've taken the time to appreciate myself, and admire the person that i've become since the last valentine's day. just as i took an entire week to celebrate my 21st birthday, i shall take this entire week to appreciate myself--whether it be treating myself to a mani-pedi, going out and having the best time with friends, or even just sleeping in all day. i encourage everyone *if you are/aren't boo'd up* to take the time to appreciate the love that you have for self this valentine's day. hollywood, the media and our society in particular makes such a big deal out of a generic holiday, to the point that people become absolutely desperate to find that "valentine', but i say hey! be thankful that you are loved by people all over the world, those who think of you when you don't even know it.

i have somewhat of an appreciation for your lovey-dovey holiday saint, and i've come to the conclusion that being bitter just doesn't solve anything. so instead of sulking this year, i'm going to have the time of my life this week, appreciating the woman that God has blessed me to be; one that is maturing and growing day after day.

thanks st. valentine, but i'll take it from here. <3

-*csc.

"i'm boss-ay!" - oh really?

 "you don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me--but you will respect me...you know why? cuz i'm a boss!" - kelis

My girls and I used to blast this song while crusin' down the boulevard back in high school and we thought that we had finally found our anthem for all the haters of there. that was four years ago, and now that I look back, I find  the song so trivial and juvenile. While I may still groove to it every now and then, in recent months it has been pretty big in the media how the number of single women, specifically black women is ridiculously high. And it's not just any type of black woman, but the "go-getter", the bread-winner, the "Miss Independent" that Ne-Yo sings to eloquently about. Is it wrong to be too "independent" or bossy now days? Does that really turn men off from wanting to date we women who are "always on our grind"?

As I was aimlessly floating around the Twitterverse yesterday, I came across a tweet that led me to the Facebook page and blog of Paul Carrick Brunson, the Modern Day Matchmaker. Ladies, have you ever wondered WHY after that amazing date the next day he didn't call us back? Well, Paul may be answer our questions and give us a few tips at why we didn't get that call, text or email the next day....






Even as a college student, I can honestly say that I fall in maybe one or two of those catagories - and it's so true! Sometimes those of us who are go-getters may be so focused and determined at aiming for the top that we lose sight of the simple things that make us feminine and sexy. Now, I'm not saying to completely deactivate the "go-getter" mentality, but we've gotta be able to play it up with our femininity and sexiness, and a hefty teaspoon of sass.

You can check out other episodes of Paul's "The Modern Day Matchmaker" at his website http://blog.onedegreefrom.me/; he's also on Facebook and Twitter http://www.twitter.com/OneDegreeFromMe. Check the brotha out ladies, he may be on to something ;-)

-*csc.

one year older, one year wiser.

"so long, farewell, my life's moving forward. my ship has sailed, & i'm so glad it's over. my heart is well,
after all that i've been through i found myself." - ciara

hi friends,

for those of my readers who have just complete their first week of spring semester, congratulations. i'm uber-excited about what this semester, let alone this year has in store. i've been blessed to see another year this week, and i couldn't be more thankful. as i sit here listening to "i found myself" by ciara, i can't help but think about all the things that i've experienced over the span of my life : hurt, happiness, heartache, joy, ect. but for the most part, i'm excited to move forward and live my life. for the longest, i feel like i've been living life in some what of a shadow, or as i put it earlier this week, using other people's lives as crutches to live mine. well, that ship has sailed and i feel liberated for some reason. twenty-one has brought me to a plateau of finally doing things that make me happy and being content with the person that i am. no one is perfect, and for the longest i've felt that i didn't fit into the mold that society is supposed to have for me, but you know what? f*ck that mold and the horse that it rode in on - i'm doing me finally and it feels pretty damn good.

no longer will i reduce the way i feel about myself to fit some fictitious mold that others around me think i should fit. this is my life and i only get one, i plan on living up. there are many responsibilities and priorities that come with being twenty-one, but i feel that i am very prepared to face them head first. i just feel this burst of energy that i've never felt before, a fire that has never blazed like this before in my heart. while there are some things that i will continue about myself, i'm just going to continue to do me, and that is all that i can do.

i will continue to P.U.S.H. and believe that everything will happen at the right place and time. i'm very hopeful for what life has in store, and i'm so blessed to be able to wake up day after day and experience it. <3

*-csc.

achieving your goals :: it's our time!

hey friends!

so check it, i went to this awesome networking event sponsored by L'Shanell Event Productions on wednesday evening at the salud lounge, located @ 1471 n. milwakee avenue in wicker park. let me just say that it was just an electrifying experience to be in one room with so many professionals in the world of fashion, photography and beyond. i got the chance to chit-chat with some folks, chow on some yummy appetizers and get my name out there.

even though i am a student, it is never too early to begin building a network. 2010 seems extremely promising for everyone and i am just extremely thankful that God gave me the strength to get up and go to this event. check out l'shanelle's website, facebook page and follow them on twitter -- chicago fashion is on the rise to take the world by storm!

website : http://www.lshanellevent.com/
twitter : www.twitter.com/chifashnconnect



don't stop believing + always keep dreaming!

<3*csc.

adios 2oo9, it's been real.

so it's new year's 2oo9 and i couldn't be more ecstatic to be walking confidently into a new year. while i could have chosen to go out and party with friends tonight, i've decided to chill inside with the family and ring in the new year right. i'm so excited to see what next year holds for my family and friends and being able to be blessed to make it though yet another year.

this year has been one for the books - but i'm so thankful for the growth and maturity and the ability to stand up for myself even more. these last ten years have surely flown by and as i look back on the person that i used to be, i'm so grateful for the evolution and continued discovery that i am experiencing.

2o1o is about to be on and POPPIN'! so to all my peeps going out this evening - be safe, have fun and i will see you in the new year! <3

-*csc.

it's the kid in me : jamba juice smoothie maker

so my younger sister insisted in waking me up out of my slumber this afternoon to bring this absolutely GENIUS idea to my attention.

jamba juice has officially joined the ranks of real-food appliances like the easybake oven, the mrs. fields baking factory and the mcdonald's mcflurry maker. i really thought that i was going to go to culinary school, so i spent hours upon hours as a youngster making cakes, cookies and other goodies for my household. *giggle*

this christmas would be a joy if i saw this box under the tree, and while you make think that i am too old for novelties such as these, i must explain my love for jamba juice. and seeing that there is no jamba juice here in syracuse, new york (getcha money up 'cuse, let's make this valuable investment!) i think that this would totally make my spring semester and have my fellow classmates sippin' a little haterade because i'll have freshly blended jamba juice smoothies each morning on my way to class.


toys 'r us is just one of the few retailers selling the item for $19.99, and it's currently sold out online, so you know that it's going to be a hot item for the kiddies this christmas.

if santa knows what's best for him, he'll make sure to thrown this up under my tree - i've totally been a good girl this year. ;-)


-*csc.

if you love me baby, smile...

did you ever play that game in drama class when you were in elementary school?
the option of the game was to not crack a smile when the person who was "it" if you will when they said, "if you love me baby smile..." if you were successful at not smiling at the person, whoever it was, you would state, "i don't love you, but _____ does," and the person was "it" would go over to that person and attempt to make that person smile again.

i've always been the type of individual who loves to smile. looking back at my pictures as a child is so amusing to me because even when i didn't have any front teeth, i would flash those pearly whites as if they were in place (hence, why i've donned the name 'lilmizsunshyne).

smiling is just something that comes with my bubbly personality, and whenever i'm not smiling or upbeat, it throws people for a loop because they're so used to seeing me laughing or giggling about something. but what i've found is that i'm attracted to people who have great smiles. if you're a guy and you flash that smile at me when we're having a conversation, boy-oh-boy will you make me swoon. *lol* but i think that smiling is just a part of being. whether it's an evil grimace or a sweet & sugary grin - a smile can open up a window to the love you have for life.

like my mommie always says, it takes more muscles to make a frown than to smile...and i think that if we all smiled a little more, it would just loosen up the tension that we can sometimes walk around with. so when you start your day tomorrow, just think about smiling - you never know who will fall in love with your smile.

"Wear a smile - one size fits all." ~Author Unknown

-*csc.