trying to beat this emptiness, but i'm running out of time...

[this is an open letter to any one who may be going through a tough time right now. i just want to encourage you that things will get better and that after the storm, there is always a beautiful sunshine.] <3


my dearest sister,

it seems like when one of us is hurting we all hurt,  and at this particular moment in time it seems that we are all trying to find our way through this dark space.

i can stand as a witness to say that much is demanded of us on a daily basis. from lousy professors to boastful family members to stupid pressures of society, you are pulled in a number of directions and you feel like 24 hours is never enough time to do it all. but as the good word says, "to whom much is given, much is expected" (luke 12:48).

God has blessed you as a woman to be care giving, hard working, and a lover of and for all. you've been blessed to be this fierce, multi-tasking beauty for the world to marvel and while it may not seem like it, you are appreciated.

whatever the problem may be, trust and believe that you and i will get through it together. that's where our friendship have comes into play. we have to support each other no matter what the circumstance, and i want you to know that i've got your back.

you are a strong individual who is able to conquer and face anything. sure, it may take sometime to readjust and gain composure, but once you've taken that time out you have to get back in the game. like free bird lil wayne has stated, "i know the process is so much stress, but it's progress that feels the best", so keep it movin' forward girl.

as i close, i leave you with a line from a movie that was a staple of our childhood:

"you've got troubles, i've got 'em too. there isn't anything i wouldn't do for you. we'll stick together to see it through, cause you've got a friend in me." :-)

☮ and ♥, 

-*csc.

dreams are real, all you have to do is believe.

happy fall everyone!

i know it's been a minute in a half since i've posted, but the school year has officially started! meetings, classes, hanging out with friends - it's reminding me how blessed i am to have such a rich college experience like this. over the last few days, i've witnessed so many of my friends have their dreams come to reality and i thought it would only be right to highlight them. it's also allowed me to put in perspective my own dreams and aspirations, and what steps i need to take in order to achieve them. so without further lining, here we go!

first and foremost, my home-girl Aryn Terry was chosen as one of six young women to be Torrid's House of Dreams winners! she has been granted the opportunity to go to LA at the end of October to participate in a number exciting fashion events put on by Torrid. You can check out her blog emBODY beauty, she is such a beautiful spirit...congrats love!

as many of your fashionable people know, last night started glorious Fashion Week in NYC (one of my dreams is to attend, and I will be going in the near future) and i have the privilege of knowing SO many awesome journalism and fashion students and SU alumni who are down there doing their thing. with too many to name, just know that you are totally an inspiration to me and many others who hope to live that dream some day.

and for my final thought, I recently put out there that i have a very achievable goal that i want to reach by my 22nd birthday (january 18th, 2011 my friends) and by putting that out in the atmosphere for the very first time in my life, i'm starting to see it come true. i've become more conscious about the things that i do put in my body and while i do have a slip-up every now and again, i'm really set on becoming the better person that i want to be. my "quest for 22" will be not mainly about slimming down a few dress sizes, but my growth and maturity over the next four months. i'm so excited for what is to come, and i thank God for the opportunity to be able to continue to share my story and learn from those around me.

and i promise, i will do my best to post at least twice a week to keep you all updated. :)

☮ and ♥, 

-*csc.

post #100 : dear st. valentine

dear st. valentine,


in the past, i've always thought of your day as one that "suckas" usually celebrate. i've never really had a "valentine", and while this would be a time to be super emo and "depressed", i've learn that valentine's day is a time to really appreciate the ones that you love and those that love you.

i've taken the time to appreciate myself, and admire the person that i've become since the last valentine's day. just as i took an entire week to celebrate my 21st birthday, i shall take this entire week to appreciate myself--whether it be treating myself to a mani-pedi, going out and having the best time with friends, or even just sleeping in all day. i encourage everyone *if you are/aren't boo'd up* to take the time to appreciate the love that you have for self this valentine's day. hollywood, the media and our society in particular makes such a big deal out of a generic holiday, to the point that people become absolutely desperate to find that "valentine', but i say hey! be thankful that you are loved by people all over the world, those who think of you when you don't even know it.

i have somewhat of an appreciation for your lovey-dovey holiday saint, and i've come to the conclusion that being bitter just doesn't solve anything. so instead of sulking this year, i'm going to have the time of my life this week, appreciating the woman that God has blessed me to be; one that is maturing and growing day after day.

thanks st. valentine, but i'll take it from here. <3

-*csc.

if you love me baby, smile...

did you ever play that game in drama class when you were in elementary school?
the option of the game was to not crack a smile when the person who was "it" if you will when they said, "if you love me baby smile..." if you were successful at not smiling at the person, whoever it was, you would state, "i don't love you, but _____ does," and the person was "it" would go over to that person and attempt to make that person smile again.

i've always been the type of individual who loves to smile. looking back at my pictures as a child is so amusing to me because even when i didn't have any front teeth, i would flash those pearly whites as if they were in place (hence, why i've donned the name 'lilmizsunshyne).

smiling is just something that comes with my bubbly personality, and whenever i'm not smiling or upbeat, it throws people for a loop because they're so used to seeing me laughing or giggling about something. but what i've found is that i'm attracted to people who have great smiles. if you're a guy and you flash that smile at me when we're having a conversation, boy-oh-boy will you make me swoon. *lol* but i think that smiling is just a part of being. whether it's an evil grimace or a sweet & sugary grin - a smile can open up a window to the love you have for life.

like my mommie always says, it takes more muscles to make a frown than to smile...and i think that if we all smiled a little more, it would just loosen up the tension that we can sometimes walk around with. so when you start your day tomorrow, just think about smiling - you never know who will fall in love with your smile.

"Wear a smile - one size fits all." ~Author Unknown

-*csc.

Light Skinned v. Dark Skinned - when will this feud end??

I know it's been a minute since ya girl has blogged, but I've been waiting for the perfect topic to talk about. Since taking this Ethnic Identities sociology class this summer, I've learned a lot about race and the way that blacks have been and still are viewed by whites and other races across the world. But what baffles me THEE most is when our people as an entity beef against one another about the shades of our skin color.

First and foremost, if you identify as "black" or "African-American" in these United States, understand that each and EVERY one of us is beautiful in our own way - no matter if you are as light as a brown paper bag or as dark as a black summer's night *word to Maxwell*. I think we as a people tend to forget that back in the days of slavery, it was the white slave owners who made our beautiful shades a big deal, and started the whole epidemic of the "house" and "field" n*gga. (I despise using the N-word, but I'm using it strictly for explanation purposes). The lighter your skin was, the more you were preferred by the white slave owners because you LOOKED like them. That whole idea of assimilating to their way of life and thinking retarded us as a people, and is further preventing us from breaking this vicious cycle of racism that we clearly still deal with today.


I can honestly say that I LOVE each and every shade of black and brown that I have come in contact with in my life time. I think that Black people are the most beautiful group of people on this planet, partly because of the unique and special shades of color that we come in.
I came across a trailer for a documentary titled "Light Skin v. Dark Skin" and it just made me mad. The fact that light skinned sistas think they have superiority over their darker skinned sistas is just absurd to me. For lighter skinned brothas to think that they get more p*ssy than their darker skinned brothas just because of their skin color is just shocking to me, but I know that sadly, it is the truth. The media-driven world that we live in today, one that is full of labels and division, is innately pushing us away from each other when we all should be coming together and gaining momentum as a people. Now, granted, we have made many strides as a people, but we still have a wayyyys to go *as this film clip will show*. I just want to know when will all of this madness over skin color will end? Our society is so damn shallow, it's sickening. "Oh, that b*tch just mad because I'm prettier than her and my hair is REAL" or "Man, eff that dark ass n*gga - he just mad cuz he black as night!" These are just a few of the ignorant things that I've heard over the years amongst my peers. It's time that we talk about this issue and realize that NONE of us have superiority over one another.

I would really appreciate your thoughts on this matter.





-*csc.

I Used to Believe in Fairy Tales. . .

So with all this hoopla about "70% of black women being single", I thought it was about time for me to put my two cents in on this situation.

Now I've always been one who keeps their personal life private, but I must say that I've been single for a minute and it's been an eye-opening experience. I've learned a lot about myself and those around me and what I should and should not tolerate from my male counterparts when it comes to relationships. And as my friend @AndAllThatJas stated so eloquently *chi-city baybee, lol* we as young, intelligent and goal oriented women shouldn't solely focus on the make-believe stories that we were told growing up : you know, Cinderella & Prince Charming? Not all relationships are rainbows & butterflies - it takes compromise and really understanding your significant other in order to make it work. But first and foremost, it takes understanding who you are and being confident and comfortable with that inner-self. That is one thing that cannot be rushed, so to my ladies - let's take our time, be happy! Enjoy this time we have to be free & non-attached.[I'm not knocking being in a relationship, but it's kinda nice at some times] I'd rather know myself to the fullest before letting someone into my world and being confuzzled about which way is up...

We all have dreams of magically meeting our Knight in Shining Armor, having him sweep us off our feet and ride us off into the sunset to live happily ever after (so much that I daydreamed about it about a week ago- haha) but the truth is, the universe tends to work in ways that we cannot control. But in all seriousness, I honestly believe that everyone is meant to be with someone special. I may not know who that person is at this moment, but there out there some where.

I'm just gonna wait patiently, but no one can wait forever. I'm gonna continue to live my life to the fullest each & everyday and who knows, my Prince Charming might be right where I least expect him to be :-)

i'm no Dr. Phil, just a twenty-something college girl who might know a lil somethin-somethin'

<3 csc.