flash forward : six months from now.

hi friends!

i know it's a minute since a solid update from me, but i've been seriously thinking about what the next move will be for me will be.

while i'm not worried because i've got faith that i will land a job in new york city, chicago or washington d.c., i just need to make sure that i'm adequately prepared to take on the real world. college these last three years has been such a comfortable cushion, and while at times i would find myself stressed out about an upcoming exam or organization event, it will all be much of a memory six months from tomorrow. (may 14th, 2011 kids, it's coming with a swiftness!)

i guess you could say i'm in this trance of transformation -- i've watched how a number of my peers have grown up and matured in the last few years, and it's just astonishing. i know i've grown a lot since stepping foot on this campus three years ago too, and i know that i've got more growing to do. it's hard to believe that i've accomplished certain things, for somtimes i still feel like i'm that 8-year-old girl fresh off the plane from houston, texas. but like the saying goes, "success isn't a destination, it's a journey." and i've learned to rely much on my faith to fully understand why i have reached the point i am at right now.

that's why recently i've been thinking about somewhat changing my blog, but i think for the longest, i've used this as a medium for me to communicate my thoughts and feelings about the world around me. while i need to be more frequent with my posts (which i will be because writing keeps me sane) i also want to push myself to be even better; have more substance in each of my posts. i've acquired so many tools throughout my college career and now it's time for me to put them to good use.

these next six months will be an interesting ride, but i'm ready to have the time of my life. i can't let any confusion, worry or anxiety hold me back from enjoying the rest of my career here at syracuse university.

for my seniors out there: what are your thoughts on what the next six months holds?

☮ and ♥, 

-*csc.

a case of "angry black woman" syndrome?

am i the only who sometimes feels a little guilty at times when i fall into the category of the "angry black woman"? you know, the one with a lot of attitude, rolling the neck and trying to always cuss someone out to prove her point sometimes? here's an example...

now while some (and i do mean very few) of those characteristics may come from me at times, it's not always so. yesterday, one of the people i'm on this trip with blatantly stated (right in front of my face too) that i was mean and seemed "scared" to come up and stand near me for a picture. in another instance, one girl on the trip told my roommate that she thinks that i don't like her. this could easily be because i've usually got quick comebacks and can be witty when i want to or i may be a little stand-offish at times, but other than that, i'm a little taken a back at why this would be.


am i looking into these two instances too much?

these two individuals could just be joking and usually back in syracuse, i throw the deuces and don't care, because that's their problem and not mine. no, i do not (nor do i ever) feel the need to "represent" for my race/culture on this trip nor am i trying to play some sort of victim. this could simply be a case of when i need to check my ego at the door, but i do feel as if though i should be educating these individuals, not only about generalizations of black females, but also about me as a person. sure i can sassy and maybe a little snappy at times, but i'm also sophisticated, sensitive, independent and rather friendly.

on the contrary though,  trips like this have taught me that people only take you for face value, and that's totally understandable. it's only six weeks and personally, i don't expect to share my whole life with these people. i've done my part to be nice on this trip, and that's that. i just don't like the whole notion of people jumping to conclusions about who i am with out really getting to know me because that sh*t right there is for the birds.

but putting everything in perspective, i guess it does give me yet another chance to learn about the type of person i am and somethings that i may need to work on because after all, this thing we call life isn't a destination but rather a journey :)

☮ and ♥, 

-*csc.

is confidence in the eye of the beholder?

so as i sit and ponder after a day of classes and exams, i came to the conclusion that being confident comes in several different ways, but it's a continuous process. i can sometimes have days when i feel like i'm on top of the world and could conquer anything, but then there are some days that i just feel like chillin' in the bed and not conversing with a soul. and while i know everyone has days like that because we are all human, my main question is: what makes a person confident?

you could say being able to "walk the walk and talk the talk" is confident, but actions speak louder than words, right?  maybe it's your fashion sense that makes you confident, or your ability to walk into a room and just be the center of attention. Maybe you don't even have to cause a scene when you step in the building, but you can silently just chill and your presence is felt. i'm sure when people think of confidence, names like beyoncé, pres. barack obama & his wife michelle and lil' wayne (wait for it...ok, i'm back) come to mind, but they weren't always this way. so when did it finally click for them that they could literally hold the world in the palm of their hand if they wanted to?

being abroad thus far has given me a chance to really observe not only how life is in another country, but what makes people gravitate to certain people with that charisma, that spark, that extra something.
it's also given me a chance to re-evaluate who i am and what impact i want to continue to have on those that i come in contact with.

below are two people who i look up to that exude crazy confidence. shout out to them. =]

-*csc. <3

my younger sisters, llyoandra (middle) & jessica (left)

Our Time Has Come...What are you going to do?

 I know it has been a LONG time coming since my last post, but it's all been in good reason...

I've been completely swamped for the last couple of weeks with rehearsals, school projects and work, but it has all taught me in the process. I had the pleasure of attending a lecture last Thursday night given my Jeff Johnson (aka "Cousin" Jeff) that was sponsored by the National Association of Black Journalists here at Syracuse University and his words were beyond inspiring and eye-opening. I really that many more people would have attended to hear the knowledge that he dropped that evening.

I've come to the conclusion that yes, I do tend to have a short attention for somethings, I'm not afraid to say it. ;-) but when it comes to wanting to change the world, there are sooo many things that I want to do in order to make that happen and I have no idea on earth where to start. So I want to pose the question, "what is your purpose?" While that is a broad question, and many of us have the slightest idea what it may be, just take a second to think about the possibility of knowing. Even if you don't believe in any higher power, you must know that there has to be some divine right in the universe that has created a specific path and destination for each of us.

Are you doing what it takes to live out/find your purpose, or are you simply waiting for something to come along and smack you across the head and tell you, "Hey! I'm your purpose in life, come follow me!"

If it were only that easy...but being in college these last three years, I've learned that sometimes things come much more difficult than others. We have to be willing to educate ourselves in order to make us better. Jeff talked about how his friend Paston Jamal Bryant (shout-out to the AMEC, whaddup! lol) had advised him to read one book a week, just create discipline and to expand his mind. I want to take on that challenge of reading a new book every other week (I've got to work to get like Cousin Jeff y'all).

But I want to challenge you all to do something that will make you better than you were yesterday. Life is full of endless possibilities, what are you going to do to take advantage of them?


For more information about Jeff Johnson, check out his website here Jeff's Nation and follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/jeffsnation

-*csc.

"i'm boss-ay!" - oh really?

 "you don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me--but you will respect me...you know why? cuz i'm a boss!" - kelis

My girls and I used to blast this song while crusin' down the boulevard back in high school and we thought that we had finally found our anthem for all the haters of there. that was four years ago, and now that I look back, I find  the song so trivial and juvenile. While I may still groove to it every now and then, in recent months it has been pretty big in the media how the number of single women, specifically black women is ridiculously high. And it's not just any type of black woman, but the "go-getter", the bread-winner, the "Miss Independent" that Ne-Yo sings to eloquently about. Is it wrong to be too "independent" or bossy now days? Does that really turn men off from wanting to date we women who are "always on our grind"?

As I was aimlessly floating around the Twitterverse yesterday, I came across a tweet that led me to the Facebook page and blog of Paul Carrick Brunson, the Modern Day Matchmaker. Ladies, have you ever wondered WHY after that amazing date the next day he didn't call us back? Well, Paul may be answer our questions and give us a few tips at why we didn't get that call, text or email the next day....






Even as a college student, I can honestly say that I fall in maybe one or two of those catagories - and it's so true! Sometimes those of us who are go-getters may be so focused and determined at aiming for the top that we lose sight of the simple things that make us feminine and sexy. Now, I'm not saying to completely deactivate the "go-getter" mentality, but we've gotta be able to play it up with our femininity and sexiness, and a hefty teaspoon of sass.

You can check out other episodes of Paul's "The Modern Day Matchmaker" at his website http://blog.onedegreefrom.me/; he's also on Facebook and Twitter http://www.twitter.com/OneDegreeFromMe. Check the brotha out ladies, he may be on to something ;-)

-*csc.

adios 2oo9, it's been real.

so it's new year's 2oo9 and i couldn't be more ecstatic to be walking confidently into a new year. while i could have chosen to go out and party with friends tonight, i've decided to chill inside with the family and ring in the new year right. i'm so excited to see what next year holds for my family and friends and being able to be blessed to make it though yet another year.

this year has been one for the books - but i'm so thankful for the growth and maturity and the ability to stand up for myself even more. these last ten years have surely flown by and as i look back on the person that i used to be, i'm so grateful for the evolution and continued discovery that i am experiencing.

2o1o is about to be on and POPPIN'! so to all my peeps going out this evening - be safe, have fun and i will see you in the new year! <3

-*csc.

rihanna's response: too little, too late?

so rihanna is finally breaking her silence about the abuse she experienced with ex-boyfriend chris brown. i'm gonna give my opinion in two perspectives:

from a public relations perspective:

i think that rihanna's PR team knows exactly what they are doing in terms of letting her finally tell her side of the story to 20/20, performing at the AMA in a few weeks, and other things - all the while with the release of a brand new album which has already leaked to several outlets. by her telling her story, of course she is overshadowing/competing with chris as he promotes his album and continues to try to clear his name, but it's sign that they are both moving on with their careers. in addition to her interview, i'm sure that rihanna's PR people are encouraging her to become an advocate for domestic abuse and as you see in the clip up there, she tries to spit one or two statistics. i must say, while her answers aren't rehearsed, her public speaking could use a little work. being that i'm a fly twenty-something, i understood all that she was saying in the interview, but others may not *i'm just saying*

from a personal perspective:

i respect the fact that she is finally stepping up and telling her side of the story, but i feel that it could have come a lot earlier. and as i stated before, her PR clique is damn good at what they do because she's getting even more press that is going to help her album rise to number one on the charts. now, she's been in the media hardcore for the past eight months, but for her to decide to talk NOW that her album is coming out in a few weeks, i think that is a little skeptical - but that's exactly how the business works. we have seen this situation time and time again with britney, whitney, and many other celebrities and as we know, any press is good press. i do agree with her on the fact that with the picture being leaked to the media, a lot of her privacy was taken away. but what i do respect her for saying is that she knew that it was a dumb mistake for her to crawl back to chris weeks after the incident had occured. as a woman, for her to blatantly make that statement and take full responsibility for her actions is commendable. domestic violence is something that can happen to anyone, and i wish that more women across this country and the world would stand up for it and talk about it.

i'm interested to see the rest of the interview and i will be tuned in tomorrow night, 10/9c on ABC *shameless plug for 20/20, huh?* ;-)

peace&love,

-*csc.