June 17, 2009

i'm just tryna get my spot like a polka dot

it always rains in northern chicago...that's what "da town's" new slogan should be. i wish the sun would come out and play for longer than one day. but anyway...on to other things. so my time here in the 'go is coming closer to a close. i can't believe a month went by that fast, but i'm heading back to school for the rest of the summer and i actually couldn't be more excited. i hope to save enough money to pay off some of my expenses & to even buy a few things for myself ;)
speaking of "things", i went to saks 5th ave on michigan ave sunday and saw some aweeesome some stuff. like, i looked like a kid in a candy store. christian louboutin, louis vouttion, gucci, you name it - it was all there and it looked sooo pretty. i'm a sucker for shoes & handbags, so that's all that caught my eye. with all that i want to do in my career, i just hope hope i'll be able to afford all of that cool stuff. while material things aren't everything, sometimes you've gotta treat yourself every now and then. ;)

i guess the real topic of discussion for this entry is how i've felt like an outcast since being back at home. like i can totally be "anti" when i want to and be totally stand off-ish when i want, but when you have to force it on yourself, it's not as fun. not to say that i'm making myself feel out of place, it just feels weird being back home after being gone for sooo long. i guess it's just another stepping stone to my growth & maturity, huh? but i will say this - being back at home has allowed me to settle somethings and realize others about people that i'm cool with. some of the friends that i have *and love immensely* are selfish brats. wham, i said it! lol, they only care about themselves and throw gosh darn pity parties for themselves 24/7 *365 (or 366). like wth, get OVER yourself, please!?! it's 2oo9, we're in a recession - times are already hard, and you're gonna make it even worse by making people feel sorry for you? i know that sonds heartless, but it's true....you are the controller of your own destiny and well being. sometimes, people have to understand that we must alternate the way we live in order to get the results that we want. i'm learning that first hand and as hard as it's going to be, the results are really going to show by the end of this year and i know i'm going to be extremely proud of myself. i think it's just gonna take me getting away from home to really implement my plan of action. i'm excited =]

in essence, i just want to encourage people and myself to dream and never stop dreaming. dreams really do come true as cornballish as that sounds. proactivity will be the theme for the rest of this year, along with my on-going theme of "let go&&let god"

i think the two together might just be inseperable.
<3csc.

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